Hallelujah, that terrible ‘Dry January’ is over! Unabashed uncorking is allowed again, and it is good for the spirits. Finally, you are once again able to answer some really important life questions. For example: What do I do with the one blank wall at my house? Because everyone knows: glasses and walls, they should never be empty. You fill your glass with a noble grape juice, and here they come: the ideas. After one glass you want to paint the wall (burgundy), after two glasses you consider an inspirational text (‘Happiness is not a destination, it's a way of life’), but after three glasses your thoughts (as always) really get to where they need to be: you want art.
‘Brilliant plan’, you think as you march over the to the glass container the next morning with some ibuprofen in your belly. But how do you actually get art? Welcome to Tipsy Tips, where you’ll find the answer to the most important questions below. Grab your notepad! Here we go: six sober tips for scoring art.
TIP 1: ART LOAN FROM KUNSTPUNT GRONINGEN
First of all: Kunstpunt Groningen (formerly the CBK), as that is where the art loan department is located. It makes sense, since it is a place where art is lent. The collection is large, and includes paintings, sculptures and photographs. Each artwork can be borrowed for a fixed amount per month, with the rental price of an artwork linked to its selling price: the more expensive the artwork, the higher the rent. For example, if you see a painting of a dancing hippo that costs 800 euro, you can borrow it for less than eight euro a month. For as long as you want — or for not so long. That’s perfect if you don't know what you like yet. Or maybe you are feeling manic, and you want the art in your home to reflect your state of mind. Then after a month, you can just switch to a charcoal drawing of the Pacific Ocean at night. Anything is possible.
If you pay a little more per month, then you can not only borrow the work, but also build up a credit. For a work of 800 euros, you then pay not eight, but ten euro per month, saving five euro immediately. You can use that savings again when you want to buy artwork. Because you can buy art in the art loan department too. Read all about it here.
TIP 2: THE GALLERY
Also a very good idea: step into a gallery. A gallery is a place where art is exhibited for the purpose of selling those works. These used to be places where the seller (excuse me — the gallery owner) would not move until he heard the sound of crinkling banknotes or sliding credit cards, but that is different these days. And that is something we can thank the economic crisis very kindly for. It's even more fun when you find a gallery that participates in the Mondriaan Fund's KunstKoop scheme (a fund that does a lot of good things for art, and has a nice bit of text about it on its website for the enthusiast!). That's because if you buy a work of art through KunstKoop, you don't have to pay the amount in one lump sum: you pay it off in monthly instalments. So it is a loan, but one with a super-sympathetic interest rate: zero percent. Fantastic: you can invest all that saved money back into wine, and you'll get genius ideas from that (make sure you drink enough, though).
KunstKoop is in effect in many places in the Netherlands. In Amsterdam alone, there are 61. In Groningen, clear as ever, there are two: the gallery Ann's Art and galerie with tsjalling:. You can find much more information about the KunstKoop scheme here.
On this map you will find an overview of galleries, exhibition spaces and art dealers in Groningen and Haren.
SUBTIP: TAKE A PAGE FROM EDINA MONSOON
If you still find walking into a gallery difficult, take a page from Edina Monsoon from Absolutely Fabulous. In this clip, she immediately demonstrates how to get the most out of your gallery visit as an interested art buyer and then how to give your freshly acquired art a worthy new home.
TIP 4: MAKING ART, OR RATHER: GETTING IT MADE.
What’s cheaper than buying art? Making it yourself. In doing so, consider very carefully what you produce around 5 December and whether you want to be confronted with something similar on a daily basis. You probably don’t. Fortunately, you can also ask someone else to make your art. There are plenty of options here: you can have a Van Gogh replica brought in from China, you can have someone paint your sofa (great for right above the sofa) and you can even choose to have your pet professionally photographed. That seems like it’s going too far though, because a pet in the flesh is already murder on an interior, let alone captured on canvas or, god forbid, cast in bronze.
TIP 5: INHERIT
Another way to get art is to inherit. I'm a big fan of that myself. What is essential is that the person you inherit from has actually died, otherwise it is called robbery. And art theft is actually its own profession. Google ‘Kunsthal Roemenen” for exactly how not to do it.
TIP 6: THE POSTER
Finally, another personal favourite! The exhibition or museum poster. You can’t go wrong with them. For example, near my toilet there is a poster showing the top pieces from the Uffizi (a museum in Florence that you simply must visit before you travel to the eternal hunting grounds). With a poster like that, you immediately come across as cosmopolitan, erudite and art-loving. And that’s what you want, especially on the toilet.